Do you want to own a castle?

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Yes, there really is a castle going for free, not even any stamp duty, nothing, completely free with land and outbuildings!

Some of you may remember an earlier post called “Irksome homework, clay & headaches“, which gives a starter of the whole affair!

Before I start I will apologize a little for perhaps giving the impression that there was a plot of land somewhere in Scotland with a castle nestled on its luscious grounds just waiting to be snapped up by someone for free.

But there is some truth for there really is a castle to be had for free, just ermm rather one that is not possible for at least a human to live in, it is though a jolly fine one!

Mott & Bailey Castle

Mott & Bailey Castle

In my earlier post, I covered how my eldest had been given some homework to create a 3D structure of a caste of his choice.  He chose a Mott & Bailey Castle .

The crutch for me in this whole instruction from school was that the homework was NOT to go in to school, it was to STAY AT HOME, they simply required photographic evidence of the castle being made with the ‘student’ actually in the pic, talk about being suspisious?!  Can’t on earth think why they would be so uncertain of a students honesty!  (coughs)

Anyway moving on, I know what my family is like when it comes to creating things.  There’s a ‘competitive edge’ that my husband seems to grow with these particular projects and these ‘projects’ can impact on a normal household trying to keep things with a semblance of order and tidiness not mention lawfulness, doesn’t highlight going out to a public area called Palewell Common and digging up clay, yes you heard it right, clay!

We don’t experience the collection of loo rolls, shoes boxes, cereal boxes, oh no we have breeze blocks, saws, electric drills, sawing machines and yes my son participated in each and every stage of this ‘creation’.

However this ‘creation’ has taken weeks of dedication, sweat and tears, perhaps a little bit of blood at times too.

From my point I probably was in the ‘tear’ category as the paper mache stage left sticky gunk all over my kitchen floor, or when the spare breeze blocks were left in the kitchen, the saws blocking the cat flap, the pieces of wood left everywhere then the french bulldog choking on the random pieces he found, I could see vets bills flashing before my eyes.   One could go on but the mental scars are flashing vividly in front of my eyes recounting the whole adventure again.

So I would rather do myself a favour and simply present you with a gallery of lovely pictures of this ‘creation’.  Which with full honesty I will say is rather great, but with permission from my family, I simply do not wish to have it anymore, it needs to mature in life and find another home.  Perhaps a nursery, a school, someone with small children who want to stick farm animals and play knights and whatever it is they do at that age.

It is approximately 3ft x 2ft.  If you wish to have this castle GRATIS, please email me at and we can discuss pick-up/transportation details.

I would love it to go somewhere where it will be appreciated and used and not find itself in a skip somewhere lonely all on it’s own. 🙂

Here is a a depiction of the various stages, including tools to make Bob the Builder jealous!

Any takers?  xx

Irksome homework, clay & headaches

An odd title?

Not really…I promise, there is some relevance rather than blatant trickery trying to lure you in to a post merely by its title. It was the weekend, we decided to go for a walk, perpetuated by the need to get clay, yes clay.  Why? I hear you ask.  Well the reason is because of irksome homework.  Don’t you love it when your child’s school sets them a project of mammoth effort and size, then tell you to take photographic evidence, keep said monstrosity at home and keep it there.  Yes you got it right, spend weeks sweating blood and tears over a project and it doesn’t see the light of day in the school.  So what are we meant to do with it?  Put it on the coffee table as an artifact? So the challenge this time, to create a caste in 3D, basically build it.  My son is creating a Mott & Bailey Castle, example below:

Motte & Bailey Castle

Motte & Bailey Castle

What has this all got to do with husbands.  Well I have a husband.  Right now that sounds like it is an accessory, not like a bag which complements oneself, is useful, carries ones things and generally looks pleasing, oh no, more like “I have a headache”, a pain,   I won’t say anymore, it’s one of those days or weeks.

When homework comes up and I might upon the odd occasion ask for some input, support or otherwise on your average English assignment, do you see the headache for dust.  Oh no, no interest whatsoever and has the most amazing vanishing effect ever. However, this is a creation, something of substance and my ‘headache’ I can only assume gets on the competitive head, or is it creative head?  I don’t know, I can’t get in the mind of the opposite sex to really know, but that is how it appears to me.

What happens?  My ‘headache’ suddenly appears with enough building materials to make ‘Bob the Builder’ pass out, I suppose the fact he is a builder it really shouldn’t surprise me but it does.  You see I have sockets, skirting’s etc that have been in need off attention for six months or so, do the building materials come in for that, oh no, but within a matter of not days, but literally minutes the tool box arrives.   So in a period of a few days, the building materials have constructed the framework as you will see…it is then we need to go for a walk, to collect clay to cover said frame, after a hugely messy affair of papier-mâché is applied, yes all completed in unnervingly fast time.

Are you jealous Bob the Builder?

Are you jealous Bob the Builder?

The creation comes alive

The creation comes alive

So now it was time to collect clay.  Wellies were donned, dogs leashed up, bucket ready and shovel, yes not trowel nor spade but a great big shovel.  The dogs were keen, well at least one was, the other our old gentlemen wasn’t so sure especially when he saw the quagmire that Palewell is at the moment.

What is it about dogs and poles, as you will see our youngest, the dog that is, decided to urinate upon a “no dumping sign”, very apt.  He seemed to be having a bladder problem this day and proceeded in urinating on anything upright he could find.

We trundled in to the forest upon which the children after having found their favorite den exclaimed that the clay was in the open space of the common between the two fields, so off we went.  I must say I felt rather like a criminal, my senses very nervous about digging up a public area.

 I was convinced a Parks person would of course on that day decide to do the rounds and give us a thorough telling off, perhaps a fine?  Time in the slammer?  Alright I am getting a bit carried away now. Clay was found and dug.  I kept saying “hurry up, get it over and done with, hurry hurry” in anxious voice.  It was done plus a worm added to the mixture.

Then a meander down between the allotments, one of my favorite places. Then a wander home. The clay is still outside the house. I wonder if superman headache will decide to paste what seems to be ‘his’ rather than my eldest’s creation with said mucky material! Watch this space, I might just update this post with the ongoing antics of castle building.

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